i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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