The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
