He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
