I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
