why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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