is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I skipped work to stalk him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
