@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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