Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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