I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
