The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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