I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
