She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
