my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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