Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
