She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
