Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
