i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
