..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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