Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
