somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
