the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
