he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
