I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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