1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
