That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
