oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
