he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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