My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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