Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
