how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
