Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
