I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
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He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
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Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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