it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
