I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
