i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
As shirtless as possible
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
