This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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