Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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