please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
