I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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