just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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