thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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