sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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