I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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