Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
