I seem to have left my pride at pride
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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