sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
