I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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