yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
