i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
