alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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