You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
