She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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