areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
