id be glad to
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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