So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
