I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We have so much sex to catch up on
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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