week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize