this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
