Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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