It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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