Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
