Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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