So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
