its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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