I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
