Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Alive.
So much puke
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
